TF2 updates are awful so I wrote Robin Walker.

Subject: I hurd u like Diablo so I put bad drops in your fps so you could… something while you something. TLDR: Your updates suck.

Mr. Walker, why are the community weapons so retarded? Diablo-esque stat-line, uninteresting items? No thanks. Man, remember that game? With the well defined, unique, immutable classes, the crisp, consistent and sophisticated art style and the wonderful adherence to minimalism? Jesus christ, what happened? Do you guys even know what you originally made? Did you not realize how BRILLIANT that was, so you just kept smearing monkey feces all over it because ‘moar are better’?

To be fair, the official updates have been sophisticated and while they detract from the trim, lean design of the original release, they do add real, new gameplay at the cost of less elegance. But now we got these shitty, worthless items mucking things up. They complicate the game WITHOUT MAKING IT A BETTER GAME. Were you guys always secretly hack game designers, strung along by some other forces working at valve, or did you slowly drift into hat-induced madness?

And still, the drop system. Oh wow, lets make a system of inconsistent reward! People like that, right? They play WoW! But lets design it with such little feedback that the only people who get that slot machine rush are the PEOPLE WHO ARE IDLING. We will then fix this system with an awful crafting system that is useless for anything but hat generation and then vaguely fix the crafting system by making obvious changes that could have been made at any time!

You guys are ridiculous. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I wish you’d STOP updating the game after the engineer update. Clearly you no longer have the game design sense to make smart, intelligent games and if you’re just going to shit on what used to be this games wonderfully elegant game, I’d rather you just stop doing anything but bug fixes.

In short, stop being awful. You guys are awful. Please stop.

4 thoughts on “TF2 updates are awful so I wrote Robin Walker.

  1. Pingback: Brev till Robin Walker : Team Fortress 2 (TF2) på

  2. This is why I adore the 360 version so much better. Every PC addict tells me it’s awful, but you know what? They have the basic weapons, and that’s all. It’s simpler, and more fun. You don’t have to do all this needless bullshit and all these shitty extras that nobody fucking cares about. Just pick a class and play. No need to dick around with crafting or alternate weapons, and needing to balance out all the other classes when the TF2 team fucks up and pulls a metaknight, making a completely broken character that everyone exploits.

  3. Theres some truth to this, but then you gotta deal with “fps with a gamepad’ (ugh) lack of dedicated servers, lack of any sort of admin commands, 16 player limits and the fact that if the class DLC is ever released WOOOOW SEGREGATION. Damned if you do, damned if you don’t. Especially since the majority of the unlocks add to the game in a positive way, I can’t complain too much in comparison to the 360 version. That seems like the worse deal to me, but at the same time, if you love it, more power too you. There is something to be said about that sort of stability and timelessness.

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