The Disastrous Sexuality of Naomi vos Cruz
Haven't really used cohost to talk about the sex end of lore and roleplay like I used to do on tumblr, so it's time to start!
She was supposed to be the straight one. Surrounded by crazy bi girls and her gay brother, Naomi was, hilariously, one of the only purely straight characters I had who I played regularity. But through years of playing her, patterned started to emerge. Written early in her lore was her preference for smaller, cute guys, how she'd constantly have relationships fail cause she seemed to quickly become disinterested. She even had one of her friends try and label her as aromantic. She was, on paper, into guys, but she never ACTED like she was into guys and this was never intentional. Some of this was dumb luck -- people trying to pair her with characters that weren't her type, but through accidents like that, patterns emerge.
At some point, years into playing and writing her, it hit. She's frickin' gay and I have been playing her as a clueless and in denial perfectly forever. This dumb herbo, who HAS TOTALLY FUCKED GIRLS "for practice" and has a crazy kill count for her age with boys was an actual full on lesbian. Not even bi. Lesbian. And it only took her, in RP, until her late 20s to figure out out??? (the timeline will be moved up a bit for BE stuff)
I Can't Believe Naomi was also a closet Ho
Naomi loves sex??? This is actually an emergent quality of the character and not something I intended, but she's kinda just turbo horny?
She never felt like that in RP. She was so begrudging about every sexual interaction, so tsundere about it... but she'd almost always agree, but in a way that made the other person look like the horny one. Naomi was really good at laundering her shame. Naomi liked sex more than she was disinterested in men. Naomi liked sex more than the identity crisis she'd have from fucking girls. Being physical and sweaty and touchy and ah yes that's what she's about.
But Naomi is also a victim of her society. From religious beliefs, to ending up the heir to her father's duchy, and from that the expectation to marry, Naomi had it in her best interests to be straight. But like her faith and everything else, thematically, it's all set to crumble
What's the Opposite of a Gold Star Lesbian?
Part of me wondered why I didn't want to change her characterization in some ways. "If she's a lesbian, it's kinda weird she fucked so many guys, right?"... is it somehow disrespectful or something?
...But part of that kinda resonates with me in a weird, round about way, finding genuine enjoyment in doing things or being things you aren't. Coping and denial are not always so obviously painful. Sometimes it can be hard to notice. Again, she liked sex more than she disliked guys. She didn't even dislike them. She's probably fucked friends and had a good time and just assumed "This is what love and sex is like" until their partner gets confused by how they don't actually ever act like a couple. Or when Naomi doesn't talk to them for two weeks like one might do with a friend cause your busy, but never would do with a lover.
She could like to herself because what she had wasn't terrible. In fact, it was sometimes good. She just had no idea what she was missing.
Naomi's experience enjoying sex with men earlier in her life makes her no less of a lesbian now. And I think that's important because once the realization hits, Naomi doesn't have a "bi" phase where she's still figuring out. She realizes it pretty fast because everything just makes sense and everything feels better. It isn't about purity. It isn't about being able to go "I always knew". It's about getting there and being happy with it. Once Naomi realizes, she has no need for boys. She doesn't need to regret it. They were a compromise. Her identity isn't defined by her powerfully rebuking what she isn't into, it's defined by how intolerably gay she is for her girlfriend.
It's better that it's messy. It's more fun, and honestly, more human. Naomi isn't a gold star lesbian, she's a D- Lesbian, but Ds get Degrees and no one is checking what grade you got on your coursework.
Thematic Implications
Naomi coming to things late lines up with her themes with Trevor. When he dies, he inherits a lot of his anxieties. Broken faith, the responsibilities of being an heir, being gay in a society that... isn't really any gay at this point but isn't really supportive either... but being so in a social class that expects you to marry and reproduce. Gay? Sure, whatever, but you gotta reproduce and marry.
Where Trevor tries to mold himself to what people want, Naomi eventually realizes she can not. Her being just... herself, uncompromisingly, and society catch up with her is one of the things that keeps her from tripping down the same path Trevor did.
Return to Lore Journals
Categories: Lore Journal